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Whimsy-Land
{{Fiction |hasSetting=Dreamscape |storyBody Two heads are better than forced evisceration – Jan 25th, 2012 How often in your life do you identify a problem, a big problem, a "this is going to significantly negatively impact my life, and perhaps the lives of billions of others, before everything ends in blood and chaos and lots of screaming" problem – only to see a solution to the problem presented in a timely fashion? It happens to me all the time. No sooner was the word spread in both Whimsy Land and Mundania about the impending apocalypse via bugs that a group of good-hearted heroes raised their battle flags and went off to fight the bad men/women/bugs! Or – a group of wealthy elite capitalists striving to protect their materialist status quo have engaged the communist hives whose only crime is seeking equality for the masses! (Trust me, the bugs-that-go-bzzz! have a common destiny in mind for all of us – see first paragraph). Or – a group of powerful, crazy, and determined corporate overlords have decided to try and fight off the bugs for reasons which are entirely unclear and probably involve multiple reasons, the first five or so which I uncover likely untrue. Perhaps. Those wacky Double-Heads! A ponder for you – if two heads are better than one, why stop there? Shouldn't three heads be ideal? Four heads sublime? Even more heads? Why we're in full vanilla ice cream with a cherry-on-top territory. So what's the hold-up? Technology? Ethics? Three's a crowd? If you're going to pick a classical mythical figure to emulate, why not someone with a thousand eyes instead of four? (And never you mind about Argus's untimely end. Hermes is a tricksty one, he is, and if he hasn't gotten the better of you yet, don't worry, he will). MPR (for my new readers, that's Mundane Public Record, try to keep up) – There's the Akasha corporation. Of course they say it has no relation to this. Perhaps their original founder's name was Jeff Akasha. Or maybe the CEO's dog is named Akasha. I went to high school with a Jeff Akasha. Or did I dream that? Also on MPR is Project Janus. No description of what Project Janus is. That's left up to us Princes and Princesses of Whimsy to know. Except we don't know. We don't know at all. Ponder number 2 – Such a western concept, our Janus is – looking forward; looking back. Knowing the past and the future leads to vision. Leads to wisdom. It opens doors. Compare, if you please, to the zen zeitgeist of living in the moment, that fulfillment only comes from focusing on the now, and recognizing the past and future as the illusions they must be. I don't endorse, folks, I only report. (hahaha) I'll save my assorted tidbits of insight on the Double-Heads until the bugs are exterminated. (Assuming they're exterminated. Battles are reportedly being waged in Whimsy Land as we speak. Lots and lots and lots of battles. Outcome in doubt. But I remain ever optimistic – see second paragraph). No need to get the Double-Heads all stirred up until after they've saved the day OR perpetuated their material dominance OR advanced some super-secret agenda that we'll only discover much later to our sorrow. With those wacky Double-Heads, perhaps it's all three. Whether you have one head, two heads, or more, be dreaming. Your faithful observer in Whimsy Land,   Hopeful Dreamer Bugging Out? – Jan 17th, 2012   As long-time readers of my scribblings know, there are always interesting times occurring in our Land of Whimsy (and if you're a lost little mundane (no, not that kind of lost) and have happened on this page by accident (not that there are any accidents) then you don't know what I'm talking about. And, may I say, that's a good thing. Go outside. Hug your children. Or your dog. Whether you're facing sunshine or rain or snow... breathe it in. Enjoy it. But if you see any bugs... get back inside. Quickly. Back to my intended audience... it seemed only a short while ago that B. the Tailor was terrorizing Whimsy-Land before Ferocious Do-Gooders™ put an end to that stitching campaign (or did they... these things rarely end with a sharp, clean cut, don't you know). Finally time to rest? Get a little sleep, perhaps? And yet one finds it hard to engage in restful slumber when a little gnat is buzzing by one's ear. And when that little gnat is no longer one, but thousands? Millions? Billions? More trouble than a can of bug-spray will resolve is my guess. One need only look at the most recent round of trash-mags to see the signs: "SWARM OF FLIES EATS MAN", "WOMAN'S HEAD FOUND WITHOUT A BRAIN, FILLED WITH BUGS". As I've often noted here before, faithful readers, look to the trash-mags first, and they shall show you the way. I know you want details... I want them, too. The best defense is expert analysis of your enemies' weaknesses, so you can annihilate them into oblivion, or so the saying goes. But I don't have details... I have wisps of dreams, remnant shards of deeper truths - Hive. (In order to give the accurate scope of the problem, I'd have to write the word Hive over a million times, and that would have significant impact on my bandwidth costs and readership subscriptions, so please accept my shortcut). Queen. (And in order to give an accurate picture of the Queen, I'd have to reach out through the monitor and impale you through the heart, ripping it out through your body as I threw it and the rest of your twitching corpse to my minions to feed. I feel safe in saying we'd both like to forego that experience). So while the What? is always a pertinent topic in this space, dear readers, I remain intensely curious about the Why? Why does a race non-native to Whimsy-Land (believe me, if they had been around for a long time, we'd have known about it – Queens of the night and venomous scorpions are scary, no doubt, but they do not an army make, much less an army of billions intent on bloodfeed) suddenly show up and in force? Were they brought here? If so, by Whom? Is this just some part of a natural cycle of Whimsy-Land that we, in our infancy, were ignorant of? (Indeed, perhaps these hivelings are why the known history of Whimsy-Land is so short?) And then, of course, we come to the question of Who? When B A - A - showed up, Ferocious Do-Gooders™ were there to save the day (what exactly they were saving the day for is a question for another entry). But they are, by all accounts, in no position to mount yet another offensive. Maybe the Evil-Sorcerers-Who-Like-to-Play-Dress-Up? (How they hate when I call them that). The Double-Heads? Maybe it's time for the Lost to get found? I am, as my very name proclaims, an optimist. And yet I must say times have never been quite so interesting, nor so scary, as these recent weeks. Be careful. Be observant. Be dreaming. Your faithful observer in Whimsy-Land, Hopeful Dreamer }}